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In my Telugu days, I had super hard time with my parents. My father is a big professor - a gold medalist. He's a doctorate. But I'm very worst in the college. Once I'm in the college, I had the subjects. I don't like that normal, whoever is studying that same subject. I want to study what is the real subjects... Whenever I open the chemistry, the book, I'm reading the chemistry and the mantras inside, I'm chanting. I'm writing my examination, after one page later, second page later, I'm writing some mantras. Then again, I'm erasing it... it's amazing unbelievable difficult to write the examination. I read hundreds of palm leaf books. By heart I prepared the ancient information, but I cant' write the chemistry and biology exam. The professor master is kicking me out. No marks. And my father is a big boss in that area. He's calling my father, "Hey your son is..." And my father is putting me in the room, taking the belt, three days no food, no water, putting me in the dark room.
I can understand his true love. But I understand what is my love. First I respect myself. I obeyed him. I love him. I know he loves me, but I have to love myself. I can't do soul prostitute. I can't do that. I like something, I pretend I don't like it, and I'm doing different thing. That's a big crime you're committed in your life. You know what I'm saying? Once if you seen it, once if you tasted it, once if you felt the fragrance of the Divine, and you want to start that and you want to divert different way, that's a hell.
So big fighting one year with me and my father. They kicked me out of the house. “Get out! You have no permission to stay in the house!" I took my books and went to Penukonda where I'm studying. Two more years I need to study for the university. I don't really have that, good friends. I stayed in the temples, where the beggars are staying. For a while I stayed with them. Super hungry. In the temples they offer the Prasad and I'm searching for the rooms in the village. No money with me. With empty hands, I began my life. All the time majority, sitting and meditating – chanting, chanting, chanting. And I created my own kingdom by grace of Divine. Why I'm saying, once if you trust the Divine, until the Divine need to trust you, once if the Divine trusted you, then itself, it creates around you whenever you want it. Until you win the Divine, is the second.
I told to my father when I'm in Penukonda, I came out from the house. I asked him, "What do you want me to do? I should my degree? That's your desire that I'll get my degree? Let me do my research. Let me study what I want it." He said, "You can't get your university degree." I respect, I smiled, "It's not a big deal, I'll win it." It's not an over confidence. I'm a confident. I got my university degree and I created the beautiful ashram. And now my father's boss, and their boss, and their boss, and their boss, they comes to me when I'm sitting, and that boss is also sitting in the chair, that boss's secretary, everybody needs to stand with the papers and files.
One time my father came with that boss in the ashram. And that boss is saying, "You have great son." Everybody's looking like that to him, "Yes." You must be very proud of him? I offer a chair. He didn't sit in it. I can see in his eyes that kind of agree inside. Any parents, the most well-wisher is the best friend for you - the well wishers is your parents. They know what's good for you, what's bad for you. They might have a narrow mind what they grown their situation, their position. They have kind of fear maybe you cross the line you might spoil. If you cross your habits you might get disturbed. So it's not their mistake. They don't have any bad intention. So you have to respect, same time try to find a way to prove yourself - prove yourself. That's the most important thing.
I can understand his true love. But I understand what is my love. First I respect myself. I obeyed him. I love him. I know he loves me, but I have to love myself. I can't do soul prostitute. I can't do that. I like something, I pretend I don't like it, and I'm doing different thing. That's a big crime you're committed in your life. You know what I'm saying? Once if you seen it, once if you tasted it, once if you felt the fragrance of the Divine, and you want to start that and you want to divert different way, that's a hell.
So big fighting one year with me and my father. They kicked me out of the house. “Get out! You have no permission to stay in the house!" I took my books and went to Penukonda where I'm studying. Two more years I need to study for the university. I don't really have that, good friends. I stayed in the temples, where the beggars are staying. For a while I stayed with them. Super hungry. In the temples they offer the Prasad and I'm searching for the rooms in the village. No money with me. With empty hands, I began my life. All the time majority, sitting and meditating – chanting, chanting, chanting. And I created my own kingdom by grace of Divine. Why I'm saying, once if you trust the Divine, until the Divine need to trust you, once if the Divine trusted you, then itself, it creates around you whenever you want it. Until you win the Divine, is the second.
I told to my father when I'm in Penukonda, I came out from the house. I asked him, "What do you want me to do? I should my degree? That's your desire that I'll get my degree? Let me do my research. Let me study what I want it." He said, "You can't get your university degree." I respect, I smiled, "It's not a big deal, I'll win it." It's not an over confidence. I'm a confident. I got my university degree and I created the beautiful ashram. And now my father's boss, and their boss, and their boss, and their boss, they comes to me when I'm sitting, and that boss is also sitting in the chair, that boss's secretary, everybody needs to stand with the papers and files.
One time my father came with that boss in the ashram. And that boss is saying, "You have great son." Everybody's looking like that to him, "Yes." You must be very proud of him? I offer a chair. He didn't sit in it. I can see in his eyes that kind of agree inside. Any parents, the most well-wisher is the best friend for you - the well wishers is your parents. They know what's good for you, what's bad for you. They might have a narrow mind what they grown their situation, their position. They have kind of fear maybe you cross the line you might spoil. If you cross your habits you might get disturbed. So it's not their mistake. They don't have any bad intention. So you have to respect, same time try to find a way to prove yourself - prove yourself. That's the most important thing.
